yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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