Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
