just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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