everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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