Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
