Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
