id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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