Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
