end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
