you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The adults are the big ones right?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
