You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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