the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize