So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
