HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
