Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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