Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder