come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
