you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
