Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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