Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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