oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
