I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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