Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
