Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
