that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
