The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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