The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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