you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He has the fingertips of a God
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
