Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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