I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
