Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
