is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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