just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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