were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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