i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
