i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
