my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
