is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
