I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We got so high we made milksteak
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize