Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
