She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
