I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
