Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
