lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
