R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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