Its about making memories worth repressing
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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