3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize