What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
