what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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