I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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