Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I skipped work to stalk him.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
