she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I still have a little drunk in my system
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
