we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
