WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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