But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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