YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
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