my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
