That's intense
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
