What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
