OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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