there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
