Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
