they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize