just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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