Michael Bay diarrhea
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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