But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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