worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
no you cant smoke seaweed
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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